My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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