Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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