READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
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I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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