sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
