I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
