I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
