Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
