Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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