forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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