So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
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Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy