Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My liver is preforming stress tests.