I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize