It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
