Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
