as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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