don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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