She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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