i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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