im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
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