There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
