He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We're not piercing ourselves today.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
