I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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