And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
