That's intense
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
