Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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