she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i think my cat just said my name.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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