he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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