In the future we'll all be gay
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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