last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
