so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
