babies were throwing up all over the place
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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