You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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