You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
wow bdsm is so cute
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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