I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
