we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
