I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
