yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
