Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
