But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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