I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
