I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
