Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
