do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize