I have demons in me.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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