You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
