an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
