judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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