areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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