To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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