i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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