Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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