i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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