You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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