$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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