pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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