Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My balls are so social today.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
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I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
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Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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