I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
