yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
