dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
