he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
