It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize