My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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