I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
