My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize