I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
